10 things I’ve learned since leaving Uni

So it’s been 6 months since I left uni and now 3 months into a full time job I think it’s safe to say I’m familiar with the 40 hour working weeks and lack of social life but what have I actually learned? Don’t get me wrong there are pros and cons of post uni life but my life has definitely changed dramatically that’s for sure!

1. You can’t go out any night of the week

I mean covid has taken this choice away from me anyway but even one drink on a Wednesday night and I feel it the next day, it is not fun.

2. Your friends are SO far away

Gone are the days when you could put a message in the group chat and within minutes there was a pres starting at your house. It’s impossible to see my few friends who live in the same town with our conflicting work schedules let alone my friends the other side of the country!

3. Council Tax

You actually have to pay council tax, why I have no idea but at around £200 a month there is no joy in it whatsoever.

4. People start having kids and getting married

It’s very scary to see that there are now weddings in your diary and people are trying for kids. At Uni they could hardly look after themselves and yet now your peers are ready to look after a baby!!

5. You actually have to work for your money

That sweet sweet student loan the government gave you to spend however you want is a long-forgotten memory and now most of my hard earned pay check goes on bills. Speaking of student loan you also have to start repaying it…

6. You have to set an alarm EVERY day

What even is sleep? I can’t remember the last time I just slept in and didn’t worry that I was meant to be in work or had something I needed to do. You could get away with missing a lecture and watching it online but sadly work requires full attendance.

7. Holidays

I have gone from about 20 weeks holiday to 4… I think that speaks for itself.

8. You don’t miss some of your housemates

There is something beautiful about walking into a clean kitchen in the morning and knowing that any mess made is mine or my boyfriend’s rather than from that one annoying housemate no one likes.

9. Weekends are precious!!

Those two days a week (I work in retail so one if I’m lucky!) where you AND your partner AND your friends are not working actually forces you to do things you really want to do and make the most of every moment.

10. You can switch off

The one thing I really don’t miss about uni is always feeling like there is more work you could do, extra reading or changing that conclusion to an essay one more time yet when you work full time you don’t have to always take the job home with you so you can actually have a break!

1 year on

It’s been a year without my Dad, my no.1 fan, accent partner in crime, curry house companion, fellow musical enthusiast and America adventure buddy. It’s been a whole rollercoaster of emotions and it’s a constant battle. Some days I simply feel like the world is against me and don’t want to get out of bed and others I feel like I have to appreciate every minute because life’s too short.

Most of all, in this year of turmoil, I would like to think I’ve learned a few things so here they are in the hope that even if just one of these can make a difference to your life I might have done something right today.

1. Tell the people you love that you love them

You can never say this enough and sometimes we can assume that the people we care about know this, but it never hurts to remind them.

2. A problem shared really is a problem halved

It’s so easy to bottle things up and think that you are a burden or that it won’t make a difference, but it does. Offloading can take the weight of your shoulders and help your friends to better understand what you are going through and how to help.

3. Live your life

Each day is a new opportunity to go out and change the world. Don’t be afraid to live, no one ever says on their deathbed that they wished they’d worked more.

4. No regrets

Following on from no. 3, you only get one chance so don’t let fear stop you from trying the things you’ve always wanted to

5. Don’t take family for granted

You might not have chosen your family and I’m sure they get on your nerves a fair bit but it pretty much always comes from a place of love and it’s so easy to take for granted how much they have done for you and often sacrificed to put you first

6. Show your pride

If you are proud of an achievement, own it! If you are proud of a friend or family member, tell them! Chances are you and they have worked bloody hard for it and there’s no shame in that.

7. Capture memories

When you lose someone it can feel like you’ll forget the best times and whilst I’m sure you won’t, there’s nothing wrong with some visual reminders to bring those memories to life and hold onto close to you.

8. Forgive

Life is too short to hold a grudge or to hate so why waste time letting it consume you.

9. Sometimes time with friends is all the therapy you need

I know we’ve all made plans and then regretted it when the time has come to follow through if we’re a bit tired or something, but I think sometimes we underestimate the power of a chat and giggle with friends! Sometimes just a lunch with friends has brightened my week and made me feel worlds better.

10. Appreciate

Even when you lose someone so dear to you or in general when in life something goes wrong, there are still so many good things to appreciate. It can be so easy to let the bad things outweigh the good and turn your mindset straight to negative but don’t forget the good things!

B x

The retail rainbow

“It’s not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain”
Vivian Greene

I have worked in a box office on show night, Tesco during the festive period and even a department store on Black Friday but nothing could have prepared me for the last month…

Now having worked at Tesco for 4 years, I’ve seen a lot from rude customers to my lovely “regulars” to even witnessing customers using the car park as a toilet (Wouldn’t happen at Waitrose!) but during this pandemic, customers and colleagues have come together in a way which has been heart-warming and sometimes even breath-taking to watch. As everyone keeps saying “these are unprecedented times” and they really are. I feel so proud to work in Tesco at this time and have met so many incredible people through my job.

Covid-19 has taken away my final term of uni, Graduation, Summer ball, award ceremonies, holidays, plans to travel and even grad scheme assessment days that I had worked so hard to get to just to name a few but in all this negativity I have been trying to channel my energy into doing something positive. Now I can’t save lives by working for the NHS but I can put in the time at Tesco to help feed the nation and put a smile on some people’s faces even when things seem frightening and uncertain.

I have been picking up overtime since just before lockdown and helping to train some of the hundred, new staff hired, each one with their own story. From cabin crew to waiters to self-employed business owners, I have had the privilege of hearing about their pre- Tesco lives and watching them immerse themselves in Tesco when they’ve just had to leave their usual job, never complaining, always smiling and willing to learn has been inspiring.

Lockdown life at work has definitely taken some adjusting from remembering you can’t give your friends an excited hug when you realise you’re on the same shift but need to keep 2m apart, that you will probably spend most of your shift queue marshalling to remembering the aisles are a one-way system you need to continue to reinforce but I walk into every shift with a smile knowing that the people who will be in will make the shift enjoyable and have become my social life.

Anyone who works in retail will know relationships with your colleagues are obscene to anyone who has never had a retail job. You go from introducing yourself to talking about contraception in a matter of minutes. You know more about their sex life, holidays and accomplishments than their closest friends. You bond over things that to anyone else are just plain boring, but they know the satisfaction of sitting on a till after spending all day standing, the joy when someone actually has a loyalty card, the excitement of leftover krispy kremes in the staff room and even that little wave you give your friends as you finish your shift and they’re stuck for a few more hours.

Who knows when this lockdown will end but for now I count myself so incredibly lucky to have my health, happiness and home but also my job and the many colleagues I’m proud to call friends.

Stay safe and stay home -B x

New Year’s Resolutions are a load of sh*t!

I don’t know about you but it can feel like the start of a new year means you have to have everything organised, have your priorities in check and feel on top of everything? Well hopefully I am not alone in the fact that I am far from it, even if sometimes I can seem the most together person in the world I am all over the place. I change career plans like the weather, can’t even decide what I want for dinner and still don’t know how to iron and I’m graduating this year…

Also, what is with this pressure to join the gym in January?? Fun fact: 80% of the people who sign up in January quit the gym in less than 5 months which is a prime example of how we put too much pressure on us to get fit and realise New Year’s resolutions are bollocks!! If you feel like making a change for the better then do it, why do we have to try so hard once a year and not try a reasonable amount any time of year?

The end of the year is equally difficult, time for reflection and thinking about what you have and haven’t achieved. It’s so easy to think about what you wish you’d done rather than what you have actually accomplished but if you think about all the little things that add up from making a new friend to finding a new favourite coffee spot, there are so many things in a year that make it note-worthy.

It’s easy for me to say it was the worst year of my life, losing my Dad and the many scary scans, statistics, appointments and hospital visits that came during the year but some of the best things in my life and biggest achievements also happened this year; it’s easy to forget those but I know my Dad of all people would want me to take a moment to be proud of those.

In 2019, I might not have done the internship abroad I wanted to do or secured a grad job or got a first or got fit but I became a Young Ambassador for The Brain Tumour Charity and met amazing friends for life through that, I fell in love, Co-hosted a very successful charity event for York Mind, Scored a high 2.1 for my second year, Went to Kos with my best friend, Completed an internship at Muscular Dystrophy UK, Abseiled down the Spinnaker Tower despite being scared of heights and in doing so raised almost £5,000 for The Brain Tumour Charity, started my new job at YUSU and these are just the big(ish) things not to mention I made new friends but most importantly I feel so lucky that the people I was closest with this time last year are still the same people by my side.

What I’m trying to say is, when you sit down and think about the things you have achieved (little things included!) 2019 was a year you accomplished, achieved and grew whether you think it or not!

So just think, when you’re working on those New Year resolutions (whether you’ve failed them already or not) it’s not just the start of the year that you can make changes and you don’t have to put pressure on yourself to make any changes at all!

B xx

P.S – I almost didn’t write a blog post after having had a wee knock to the confidence recently but thanks to Jemima messaging me out of the blue and praising my blog and even calling it inspiring (she must be deluded right!?) it was worth another shot so never be scared to tell people if they do indeed make a difference as it just might make a difference to them too.

How to help a friend who’s grieving

I’ve ummed and ahed about writing this because everyone is different so I have no idea if this is even helpful but I haven’t blogged in a long time and even if this helps just one person, it’s worth it.

Losing my Dad was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, we were so close and not a day goes by when I don’t have a bit of a wobble when I remember I can’t pick up the phone and tell him what’s on my mind.

My Dad was probably the person I told the most things to, whether it was asking for advice or just wanted to tell him a funny story about a night out so every time something little in my life happens, even if it is simply watching a good movie, I remember that he’s not here to hear about it and it is so easy to feel alone. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are lots of people out there who care about me but it can be easy to forget.

From my experience, these things can make a real difference:

Don’t be too scared of not knowing what to say that you don’t say anything at all

So many people are petrified of saying the wrong thing but most people would rather you tried and made an effort even if it upsets us as it shows you care rather than trying to just put it behind you when unfortunately we can’t.

Check in

It is hard for someone grieving to just pop up to a friend to tell you they’ve had a shit day and need someone to talk to but if you make the effort to ask them, it gives them the option to tell you that actually today’s been a bad day and then you are actually in a position to help.

A picture speaks 1000 words

One of my best friends sends me cute dog videos every few days and they never fail to put a smile on my face. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say but I guarantee a cute dog pic goes a long way.

Get creative

One of the most loving and heart-warming things someone did for me after my Dad died was write me a song. Kez wrote a beautiful song for me about being there for me and that my Dad was watching over me. Listening to the lyrics made such a difference as well as knowing someone cared about me enough to write it for me.

Allow for the fact their life has been severley altered

They have just lost someone really important to them, they are not going to be that bundle of joy you know them to be all the time and sometimes they may cancel plans because they don’t feel up to socialising so be patient and accommodate these changes where you can. Even though one part of the day they may be their usual self, it doesn’t mean they have felt like that all day.

There’s no expiry date on grieving

A lot of people may message in the first few weeks but in my experience I’ve found it’s got harder as days go on as it actually starts to become more of a reality. The many people that were there at the start have moved on with their lives and but your friend will still be struggling so please stick around for them.

Give them something to look forward to

It might just be me but having a day out or holiday in the calendar gives me some motivation to work towards as it reminds me there are still things in life to be enjoyed and when I have bad days I can think I know I have good times ahead. A change of scenery can be really refreshing as well.

Evenings can be the hardest time

It’s easier during the day to stay distracted and there are more people are around but in the evening, it can be easy to let your mind wonder and think about the things that happened over the course of the day that you may have struggled with or your loved one would have wanted to hear about. So, as a friend, make a conscious effort to suggest evening plans or drop a message asking about their day when you can.

Share memories

Please talk to your friend about their loved one, sharing memories may evoke some tears but it reminds us that they’re still in everyone’s hearts and never going to be forgotten.

ABSEILoutely worth it!

On the 28^thJuly, I had to finally follow through with my abseil challenge for The Brain Tumour Charity. A bunch of nerves powered by adrenaline, I couldn’t believe I finally had to do it!! The petrifying event always felt so far away and yet the time had come and to my disappointment my fear of heights was as prevalent as ever!!

On the way there, I tried to focus my mind on the huge positive of taking on this challenge which was that I was getting to see so many of my favourite people in one place, I was particularly excited for my boyfriend to meet all my school friends and grandparents!!

Fast forward past one entertaining car journey with Beth complaining about her bladder 24/7, nightmare trying to find a space to park and a reunion with so many of my friends (including two cheeky misses who surprised me- Harriet and Kez you made my day, never believing your excuses ever again!!) and it was time to put on a helmet, fasten my harness and slip on some hugely oversized gloves before the safety briefing.

After the safety briefing, I wasn’t sure if I felt more or less safe as the abseil staff were so entertaining and lovely that I felt immediately at ease but they also reminded me that it is 100m tall and despite them controlling the safety rope, the majority of the rope control is down to me and my arms- me and my weakling arms were definitely feeling the pressure!

At the top, it was decided that I would go 2^nd out of the 5 of us taking part which was the ideal position in my eyes as I wanted to get it over and done with as quickly as possible but also see how it works first and I’d rather not be the guinea pig!

The actual abseil itself involved gradual stages to get you comfortable with using the equipment and in the right position to descend safely, the scariest part of it all was stepping out of the building onto the platform and then positioning myself on the wall, but they kept the ropes tort that I felt so secure and the staff were lovely and patient as I got into position. I was so OCD about how to hold all the ropes and what I could hold onto etc that I must’ve driven them crazy by double checking everything in fact I probably asked for reassurance I was proceeding the right way at least 50 times.

As I took my first step down, it dawned on me that I WAS ACTUALLY ABSEILING AND I WAS SO HIGH UP!! I stayed fixated on the wall in front of me but knew I should make the most of the view since I had a gopro on my head, so at first I closed my eyes and looked around just so the go pro got some good shots!!

About half way down my arm was throbbing, the pulling rope life was clearly not for me and to make matters worse I could feel my glove becoming looser and looser. I took a short break to adjust and reminded myself why I was doing this and just as I was feeling like giving up, I heard Beth’s voice blasting from the megaphone “Come on Becca, you’ve got this” and I mustered the courage to look down and there were over 25 smiling faces all cheering me on and I picked up my pace and thought the quicker I get down, the quicker I get to see all these lovely people and the quicker my arm gets a break.

Tug, tug and a bit more tugging with my arm slowly losing all feeling and my feet finally touch the ground and hear all the people I love clapping and cheering behind me and the feeling of relief was sensational, I couldn’t believe what I had achieved and I felt so overwhelmed by all the people that came to support me and felt so lucky to have such incredible friends and family, now for a drink!!

LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST… drum roll please… I have raised a phenomenal total of over £4,000 for The Brain Tumour Charity- I am simply speechless!! Thank you so much to everyone who has so generously donated and made this incredible total a reality!!

It’s not too late to donate though!! https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/beccasbrainyabseil

Since that beautiful day, my Dad lost his battle with brain cancer and this charity is now closer to my heart than ever, having him there to support my achievement with so many of my friends and family will always be a memory I will treasure.

Brain Tumours are extremely underfunded and I hope during my time as a Brain Tumour Charity Ambassador I can raise awareness as much as possible so that one day people like my Dad will get to live the long life they deserve. My Dad fought a brave battle but the statistics for this dreadful disease were never in his favour with just 11% of adults surviving 5 years after diagnosis. My Dad survived almost 11 months and tried 5 different treatment options and I’m determined to keep fighting for a cure now that he can’t.

A great way you can get involved in this wonderful charity is by signing up to one of their Twilight Walks, taking place in Edinburgh, Warwick and Windsor this Autumn. The Twilight Walk 2018 saw a record-breaking 5,600 people unite to raise £671,000 for those affected by brain tumours. This is enough to fund over seven-and-a-half years of research.

Find out more here: thebraintumourcharity.org/get-involved/thetwilightwalk/

20 things I wish I’d listened to before I started Uni

1. Everyone is in the same scary boat

Its not like college where some people come with their friends or if you’re like me and joined a school Sixth Form where everyone already has their friendship groups, it can be hard to dive in but at uni everyone comes alone so people are going to make the effort to get to know you.

2. Go catered if possible

If you have the choice, go for a catered accommodation option as although you may want the freedom to cook what you like, trust me after a long day at uni or when you’re hungover you do not feel like cooking and you’ll be so tempted to order takeaway that it’ll cost you more overall! It’s also such a social thing being catered, dinner was when I got the chance to catch up with friends after having different timetables all day and I wouldn’t have met half the people I have if I wasn’t catered.

3. You do not need an ensuite

You may be excited at having your own bathroom and be worried it’ll be state if you have to share with strangers but those “strangers” will be your best friends in no time. Also, for some reason en suite accommodation seems to attract a more introvert crowd so you may find yourself somewhere less sociable than you’d like. As well as that, it’s unlikely you’ll have an ensuite in your second year house so you may as well get used to sharing.

4. Don’t get a job in first year

Yes uni is very expensive but take it from someone who bagged a job 2 weeks after starting uni, it’s a nightmare! You end up being the only one left at uni over the holidays and miss out on so many uni experiences because you’re working when you want to go out and find shifts clash with socities and sport matches etc. So earn that dollar over the hols and enjoy every moment of uni!

5. Do not attempt to bag a boyfriend in your first term

Most boys come to uni so excited for the freedom to take girls back whenever they want, drink as much as possible and play sport, they do not want to settle down so do not try and make them! For your own benefit as well, most people haven’t had a boyfriend before uni so it is unlikely you even know what you’re looking for in a guy so don’t rush into anything, get to know what you want from a boyfriend first. After all, what’s the rush you have 3 years to find someone!

6. Join a sport’s team (even if just for the socials)

It’s so cliché but it couldn’t go unsaid, some of the best nights out I’ve ever had have been on sports socials and it can be so much fun dressing up as a school girl one week then a police woman the next so even if you don’t play much sport, go to the socials as it’s such a fun and easy way to meet people and get to know people out of your course and accommodation. I’ve been on riding socials and never ridden a horse in my life!

7. You’ve got a 90% chance of becoming best friends with who you sit next to on your first day

Make wise choices- go to your first lecture and sit with people that look friendly and welcoming as you might just get chatting and make a friend for life, the stats don’t lie! My two best mates on my course were sat next to me on my first day and it’s invaluable having them around, which leads me to my next point…

8. Make effort with course mates

There is going to come a time when you can’t make a seminar or simply don’t understand a particular topic and odds are one of your mates will have different strengths so you can support each other. So many people I know didn’t make effort in their first few weeks with course mates as they had such close accommodation friends it didn’t seem necessary but it can make lectures really lonely and you become more distant from your course so network network network!

9. Do as much as you can in Freshers Week

Go to EVERYTHING, fight that hangover and go out for the 7th night in a row, you’re all in the same boat and nothing bonds you more than a hungover breakfast the next day! Every night is different and you’d hate to miss something that is the talk of the flat the next day. If you don’t stop drinking you can’t have a hangover right?

10. Freshers flu exists

Even if you only go out 1 night in freshers you will get ill because your flat will be swarming with fresher’s flu germs and it’s another one of those bonding experiences, sipping on lemsips in the kitchen and comparing who’s closer to death.

11. Don’t feel like you have to stay glued to your flat

It’s great if you instantly bond with your next door neighbour but the flats are so random that you have no idea who could be with and you can’t expect everyone to be your cup of tea so venture to other flats and see if you click more with them!

12. Make friends with the older years

It can be so handy to have friends in older years, so if you have some kind of mentor system or just meet older years through nights out etc utilise these friendships and don’t be scared to ask for advice, particularly when you’re looking for a second year house it can be so helpful to talk to people who have been through it and can recommend agents etc. One of my Head STYCs ended up being my best friend so don’t be scared to talk to them!

13. Leave campus!

Most universities are located in a town with stuff going on and look pretty different during the day so don’t be scared to have a look and embrace local culture, it can be embarrassing to ask where the bus stop is 6 weeks in so get out and about with your new pals as soon as you can.

14. Wear trainers on a night out

It seems so obvious now but however glam you may have been used to going at home, uni nights out are a different breed and no one wants to be in a mosh pit and get their toes broken.

15. Don’t visit home in the first month

As much as you may miss your family and your home comforts, you won’t get truly involved in uni life if you go home too soon as you’ll miss out on bonding experiences that you’ll probs remember forever so fully immerse yourself in everything happening at uni during the weekends as there is so much more to uni than lectures and seminars!

16. Seminars are vital, lectures are not

So lectures and seminars are theoretically both compulsory but lectures usually consist of a PowerPoint being read out which can be easily accessible from home but seminars are full of useful discussions you really can’t catch up on easily so prioritise if you can’t make everything.

17. Formative assessments are worth doing

Most unis have optional “formative” (practise) assessments before the “summative” (real thing) and these may be optional but doing them is so so helpful as you get feedback that you can take to the summative and the summative usually replicates the style of the formative so you’ll feel so much more confident having had a go and know if you were on the right track.

18. You don’t need to buy textbooks

The lecturers may give you a long recommended list of books to buy or encourage you to come to a second hand book sale but the truth is these books are all either easily accessible from the library or most of them have online versions and if you’re really lucky your lecturer may attach the chapters on the vle or give you print outs so don’t waste £220 (that’s how much I spent on first year books rip💔💔)

19. Don’t forget to call your parents

You are probs having an absolute hoot and a call to Mum seems time consuming and a bit pointless, you’ll see them in a few weeks at Christmas, right? But you won’t believe how much your parents are missing you as even though your life has changed and you’ve made new friends that feel like a little uni family, your mum is still doing the exactly same thing as before just without you and she’ll love to hear from you!

20. It’s okay to drift from some home friends

As much as you won’t want to lose any of your friends from home and wouldn’t dream of replacing them with your new uni friends, it’s impossible to keep up with everyone and it’s okay to drift a bit; if they’re true friends they’ll understand you’re all busy doing your own exciting things and living your life but it doesn’t mean you love them any less and when you meet up it’ll be like you were never apart!

New job, New people, New challenges

“Be thankful for each new challenge because it will build your strength and character.”
Anonymous

So… last week was a whole week of firsts from starting my first internship to going to my first drag show to meeting my boyfriend’s family for the first time!!

First first: A few months ago I applied for the role of Community Fundraising Intern at Muscular Dystrophy UK and never dreamt I’d actually be successful as it seemed too good to be true that I could land an internship in the field I actually want to go into after uni but lo and behold they miraculously accepted me and 1st July was set as my start date.

The 1st July always seemed like this distant date that might never arrive but seemed a lovely idea in theory! However, it slowly but surely crept up and last Monday it was time to enter the world of work and see if I really was made for the world of charity fundraising.

On the train up I was a bundle of nerves and excitement so it was probably for the best that I didn’t manage to get a seat as I don’t think I would’ve been able to sit still if I’d tried! Thoughts were racing through my head from would I actually be any good at my job to was I even dressed appropriately? I’d never met the people I would be working with either as the interview had been over the phone so I hadn’t the foggiest as to whether I would even click with them or if they would like me- could be a long 11 weeks!!

Fast forward past the tense train journey, worrying walk to the office and perturbed press of the buzzer and I’m in the office kitchen with the two lovely ladies I’ll be working with most of the time. They made me feel instantly at ease and gave me a welcome pack that came with a smile and the offer of help that was so warm and genuine, I felt as though I could ask them anything however silly it may seem. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, I’d made it here on time and my colleagues were divine! They soon showed me around the office and introduced me to everyone, I felt so honoured that people no matter how senior made time to tell me a bit about what they did and seemed genuinely interested to meet me- I couldn’t believe I felt part of the team already! If that wasn’t enough of a welcome, that particular Monday they had all of the South Fundraising team in town which doesn’t happen very often so it was a real honour to meet them all and be invited to their team lunch, which was such a wonderful opportunity to meet people in a more informal setting over some jerk chicken and chips- What a first day!!

The next few days flew by with tasks from sourcing raffle prizes to writing articles for the website and I walked out of the office each day with a spring in my step and a smile on my face knowing I was learning so much, having fun and hopefully proving useful to the charity!

For anyone that doesn’t know much about MDUK now is my time to do a little plug: They bring together more than 60 rare and very rare progressive muscle-weakening and wasting conditions, affecting around 70,000 children and adults in the UK. By supporting high quality research to find effective treatments and cures they are leading the drive to get faster access to emerging treatment for families in the UK and ensure everyone has the specialist NHS care and support and resources they need to help people live as independently as possible.

Second first: My first drag show could simply not be forgotten if I’m mentioning everything that happened for the first time last week. Susannah and I went to see one of her friends from uni, Tayris Mongardi, who hosted and produced a show called The Chocolate Box at The Marlborough Theatre and it did not disappoint!! It was thoroughly entertaining and even inspiring to hear from some of the drag queens about their struggles of accepting how they felt in their own skin and the stigma attached. Brighton could not be a better setting as one thing I’ve always loved about my home town is how accepting it is and that you could literally walk down the street in anything and no one would batter an eyelid!!

Third first: Meeting Chris’ family for the first time… So I had previously had the pleasure of meeting some of the Sharrocks at one of Chris’ hockey matches so I was lucky enough to know already that his parents were really warm and friendly but that had been for a short but sweet 5 mins so spending a few days with them did scare me a wee bit but I guess I was only nervous because it mattered to me so much that they approved of me!

Our first stop on the whistle stop tour of the Sharrock family was to meet his cousin and her little boy Jack. Now, Jack has been the source of many smiles in our relationship as he is the cutest 4 year old to grace the Earth and enough to make anyone the broodiest being!! Jack lived up to his name and had us playing his version of tennis (this consisted of us using badminton rackets and a soft football??) but much to mine and Chris’ dismay he seemed to enjoy watching us battle it out for Wimbledon champion instead of actually playing himself! After tennis it was football and my heart sank because I actually don’t even know how to kick a football, I was the girl at primary school that sat in the goal giggling with the girls and refused to move just to annoy the boys! But little Jack soon coached me on his cheeky tactics and Chris in goal didn’t stand a chance. Before long, Jack switched from saying Chris was the winner to saying it was me and Chris knew I was never going to live it down that I was Jack’s favourite- the family opinion that matters most, obviously!

Later that evening I had a couple of my closest friends to vet Chris, as you do! The Pimms and Prosecco was in full flow and we even whipped the ping pong table out of hibernation for Prosecco Pong before heading to the beach for drinks as the sun set. I can honestly say it was one of my favourite evenings I’ve ever had, having my favourite people all together in my favourite place felt like a dream come true and the fact that they all get on so well just demonstrates how fortunate I am to have such beautiful beings in my life and have no idea how I got this lucky!!

As truly fabulous as that evening was, nothing could compensate for the hangover that followed and how I got through the next day still baffles me…

Chris and I went for lunch with his parents at Middle Farm which was very wholesome but there were multiple moments where I feared I may see the contents of last night’s dinner come back up and thought that probably wouldn’t make the best impression! Fortunately, Chris’ parents are so easy to chat to and we had so many things in common that I was soon distracted from my unsettled stomach and raging headache and enjoyed getting to know them better and laughed away. We then went to meet his uncle and thankfully that came with a coffee to perk out hungover selves up as we both fought the urge to nap on the table. After that, I got the opportunity to show Chris and his family my favourite place (How I was still awake at this point, I have no idea- guess its testament to the lovely company!) Devils Dyke, and we went to the pub there for dinner, and just like lunch it was full of interesting and entertaining conversation and there was a moment where I just thought I am the luckiest girl in the world, I couldn’t dream for a better family of Chris’ they are so welcoming and friendly and we have such lovely conversation that I’m already excited to go and visit them (and Chris obvs).

3 firsts and 1 happy bunny!!

B xxx

Sharing is caring

“When it rains look for rainbows, when it’s dark look for stars”
Oscar Wilde

It’s hard during exam season for our positivity and optimism not to be tested and I don’t know about you but sometimes it can feel like everything is out of your control. But… Oscar Wilde does have a point, even in the gloomiest of times, there is always a ray of positivity and a reminded that better days are on their way. I just have to look around me to feel overwhelmed by how much sunshine I have in my life, with the most incredible friends and boyfriend and often wonder how I got so lucky and thank them for showing me that with them by my side I’m pretty invincible. I often battle with whether or not I should share my worries with those around me for fear of bringing them down or causing them stress but I am realising more and more that however cliché it may sound, a problem shared, really is a problem halved and I cannot stress enough that your friends will want to be there and support you so why not let them?

Having said that, it’s easy for things to mount up and my default when things get on top of me is usually to go for a run with music blasting and just let out my frustration. I guess to me, my fitness is one thing that’s within my control because unlike exams that are unpredictable, surely what is predictable is that the more I run, the fitter I’ll get? It can be easy to overdo it though, I set myself unrealistic targets, thinking they’ll make me feel happier, saying that if I got abs for my holiday or could run an extra 10k it would miraculously fix everything. However, recently I’ve realised, it doesn’t matter whether I bulk up or stay as weak as anything because I’m lucky enough to have people that make me feel loved for being me and even though it might make me feel a bit less insecure in a bikini, it isn’t going to really help me or anyone else in the grand scheme of things. So… instead of channelling my energy into relatively insignificant things, I should work to change things that matter to more than just my insecurities.

On that note, recently I’ve been channelling my energy into planning The Derwent Summer Soirée, for those of you not blessed with a Derwent College existence, the Soirée is a huge Raising and Giving event to raise money for our partner charity, Mind. It’s the Derwent charity event of the year and a chance to celebrate another fantastic year at University surrounded by friends and hosts the iconic Derwent awards alongside entertainment, a champagne reception, professional photographer and even a scoop of Roberto’s delicious ice cream, not to mention an after party at the infamous Flares!! (Have I sold it to you yet??). So here’s to hoping El and I can do what promises to be a wonderful evening justice and finish second year with a bang!!

In case you haven’t realised by now, planning and taking part in fundraising events is a huge passion of mine which I hope to someday make a career out of. Therefore, I am over the moon to say I am one step closer to that goal after securing a Community Fundraising Internship at Muscular Dystrophy UK, an incredible charity devoted to helping the 70,000 people living with muscle-wasting conditions in the UK. I can’t wait to stick my teeth into this role and make the most of all the opportunities it brings from meeting new people to planning exciting fundraising events. Needless to say though, I wouldn’t even have the courage to apply for things without your support so really it’s thanks to you that I’ve landed this role and to everyone that has shared in my joy at this achievement thank you for believing in me and for appreciating just how much it means to me.

It’s also getting closer and closer to “Becca’s Big Brainy Abseil” and much to my dismay my fear of heights hasn’t miraculoulsy disappeared but I have miraculously, absolutely smashed my fundraising target and I honestly don’t think I can put into words how much your support and kindness means to me. (It’s rare that I’m speechless, I know) So thank you from the bottom of my heart is going to have to do for now.

Lots and lots of love

B xxx

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/beccasbrainyabseil

A spoonful of positivity with a pinch of crazy

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will”
Zig Ziglar

Firstly, I want to say how touched I am that people even take the time to read my nonsense. Last blog post received some lovely comments and it means the actual world to me because every time I post I think ‘Becca why don’t you just write a diary, no one actually cares!!’ But it just shows how telling someone that you enjoyed it makes a world of difference. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you’re ever thinking that you want to compliment someone but don’t think you’re close enough or that it matters, well it does and it just might make their day!!

On that note, have some more babble from Becca’s bubble…

Last week, I attended my Young Ambassador training weekend for The Brain Tumour Charity and I can’t actually put into words the admiration, respect and love I have for the 20 other ambassadors and can already tell the next two years in this role are going be a blast. It may have been a training weekend but that didn’t mean sitting in a room staring at the screen all the time, no, more like staring at a certain instructor at the activity centre all the time… Thanks to everyone for the giggles even though I now know if we’re stuck on a desert island none of you will be able to help me build a raft or toast a marshmallow round the campfire without setting it alight but you’ll definitely put a smile on my face!!

Raft Building success after our 100th attempt

Even though we have all dealt/are dealing with brain tumours either directly or indirectly, everyone is so positive and determined to use their experience to help others and already we have started spreading awareness by placing headsmart cards in as many GPs as possible. If you’re not already aware, headmart is raising national awareness of the common signs and symptoms of brain tumours in children and teenagers by equipping parents, the public and healthcare professionals with the information they need and you can read more about it here!! https://www.headsmart.org.uk/about-headsmart

After my Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer, I felt like I didn’t have a right to let it affect me or upset me since it wasn’t actually me having to go through the pain of treatment or face the scary statistics and I was terrified to let my positive personality slip over something out of my control. Being around others in a similar boat helped to realise it’s okay to have a down day and that it’s not letting my positive self down to be slightly quieter or subdued because while I might not be dealing with the physical effects, the emotional ones are often just as terrifying. This just makes me all the more motivated to help my Dad and everyone else fighting the fearful odds.

In fact, I felt so inspired that I was trying to think of something I could do, a challenge I could take on and raise money in my own little way, so… lo and behold I’ve signed up to ABSEIL DOWN THE SPINNAKER TOWER IN JUNE!! Am I mad?? Definitely. Oh and I’m also scared of heights, so it could be a tad challenging… The first thing my little brother said was “Have you even seen how high the Spinnaker Tower is, you freak” but I guess there’s no better way to face my fear right?? My mum also messaged me this morning telling me to “beef up my arms” because apparently a girl did it last year and thought her arms were going to drop off as it’s so demanding ahhhhh!! Feel free to hmu with ways to beef up in the next two months, ta xo

If you feel so inclined to support my crazy endeavour, my justgving page is: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/beccasbrainyabseil

Thank you to everyone who has supported me so far, not just with that endeavour but for the things that might seem so little to you but mean so much to me, from simply telling me you’re there if I ever need to giving me a much needed hug.

Whole lotta love to you all

B xxx